Sorry Guys....

I know...I know...I have been MIA for a long time!!! SO much has happened....and none of it is good it seems. I am starting to think that someone out there hates me. So much to talk about and so little time it seems. I will be here more now...promise!!! Hugs and stuff!

OUCH

So many things have been going on....sigh! Mostly just stuff with B and his ADHD. We are STILL trying to find a medicine that works:-/ I have started the process of having him tested for special education...which breaks my heart. I don't care one way or another...I just don't want him to have to be made fun of because he doesn't learn as quickly as everyone else. His insurance deductible started over, so you have to pay everything out of pocket (no copay) until the deductible has been met. His dad is in kidney failure, so it gets met pretty quickly....but that still puts a financial burden on me.

We are looking to get a used (new to us) car once I get my income tax. Princess, that is our car now, has got 250K miles on her, and she is a minivan...which makes it look like I have 15 kids when I only have one! Men love it though....turns some heads....NOT! We will get something smaller, car probably, I hate cars (I am a truck girl) but I need something with good gas mileage.

Lastly, for the first time ever, I had to have a biopsy on my cervix today. The doctor said he has done a lot of them and mine by far was the hardest he has ever done. I have never heard a doctor apologize so much, because he knew how much pain he was causing me. Why? Because my uterus is pointed backward, so my cervix is pointed down, or something like that. It was extremely painful. I waited until they left the room to cry...OUCH! He said that he thinks everything looks good though, so that makes me feel better. Just have to wait on the results, 7-10 business days:) As of now, I am still uncomfortable, but it isn't terrible.

Hope everyone is having a good week:)

I HATE THAT!

I don't get men!!! Why can't they just tell you what they want?!?! You will get a whole lot further with me if you do! UGH! Then there is this one guy....I can't stop thinking about! I HATE THAT! Why can't stop I stop thinking about him?!?! I always want the guys that are going to hurt me!!! It will end bad, there is no good outcome! How come I always go for the ones that are going to end badly....for me at least...sigh. I was supposed to see him this weekend...but now that won't happen. How can I be so infatuated with someone that I haven't even touched?!? I have never felt like this for someone....and it SUCKS!

Anyways taking B to see his dad this weekend...decided I would stay and visit and see some friends I haven't seen in a while. I hope I have a good time...cause I could really use a good time...

MIA

Sorry, I know I have been MIA...and I wish I had a better reason. Just been trying to get B ready to go back to school. Trying to get his meds straight and what not. I have a lot going on this month.

So it didn't work out with the guy...not that I am surprised. Oh well! Not going to lose any sleep over it:) There is potentially a new guy. Not real sure about it though. Just taking it day by day. I get sick of the games though. Like don't text him, let him text you. Wait so many days before you text...etc. It would be so much easier if they would just say what they want, instead of you having to guess. Do they want you to text/call. I just don't...I figure if they want to talk to me they will make the effort. Of course you see where that has gotten me:)

Hope you all have a great week!!!

P.S. Tomorrow is my Birthday:)

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!! Hope everyone had a safe and great one! I spent it with my niece and a couple other friends. We went to a cemetery and walked around...morbid I know, but hey I had a blast! And if I haven't mentioned it before...2014 is all about ME and what I want and makes me happy! That includes B and what makes him happy too:)

So I guess I jinxed my new dating partner, cause I haven't heard from him. Not that I am surprised. It always seems like if I talk about dating someone to anyone, it fizzles out. And people wonder why I don't talk about my love life. There is this other guy, but honestly I just don't think I am attracted to him like that anymore. Yes I said anymore cause we dated about 20 years ago. We are hanging out, but I just don't have the urge to get physical with him. Why can't I find someone?!?! It gets super frustrating!

I Hate Dating!

Stupid WiFi has been down for 2 days!! Talk about aggravating!!!

So Christmas has come and gone. For the most part it was great! Except for when I went to take B to meet his dad after we opened presents at my parents house. When I got back my family had eaten Christmas dinner without me!!! After we waited until 7:30 the night before to eat waiting for my older sister! I was pissed and hurt...mostly hurt though:(  My mom called the next day and apologized, and swore it would never happen again.

Then my best friends, since high school, dad was admitted to the hospital. He is still there pending surgery:(

I finally had my date Friday night, you know the one that I wasn't sure if it was a date or friends catching up?!? Well it was definitely a DATE! Then we saw each other Saturday night too. This is the time that I hate being a woman! My brain goes crazy!!! I know I just need to chill out and let it be....but now I am reading into EVERYTHING! Like we talked about getting together for New Years eve...but now he is saying he might go hunting with his boss down in South Texas. I freak out over all of this...I over analyze everything that has been said:/ I am driving myself nuts!!!!!! Is this normal or is this my low self esteem and abandonment issues coming out?!?!? I just HATE dating....this SUCKS!

PMS

I am ready to beat the crap out of everyone....surely I have PMS! I swear I think my head will explode at any given minute! B's mouth is fixing to get him grounded from everything. I feel terrible about the way that I am acting because I know a lot of it has to do with his meds and the fact that he currently isn't taking them. I understand all of that but damn I can't just let him say the things he is saying and do the things he is doing because he isn't on meds at the moment.

Saturday was super fun! See all of my family that I haven't seen together in so long. One of my cousins and her husband made the announcement at dinner that they were expecting their first child! Just seeing the look and pride in my grandparents face to have us all together at the same time was awesome and made me feel great!

Of course this morning I walked in on a discussion between my mom and my aunt, and got pulled into it. That turned into a screaming match, all 3 of us in tears and leaving angry. We were supposed to stay until 3 but mom couldn't get out of there fast enough. Didn't even wait for my grandfather to get home from church:( We all made it home safe and sound, and that is all that matters I guess. Hope everyone had a great weekend.