Even with the Craptastic week that I am having, I managed to complete my W4D2! I keep wondering when I am going to FEEL like a runner?!? I guess it is getting easier, because I can do it for longer periods of time than I could at the beginning, but I still don't feel like a runner. Maybe when I complete the C25K app I will feel more accomplished.
I guess what comes with my depression is low self esteem, even before I had a weight problem. I never felt like I was good enough. I always quit because I assumed I would fail anyways. Which is why I haven't shared this blog with anyone I know personally. I am afraid. I am also not a bragger, I don't like to say hey look at me, look at what I am doing because in my mind the less attention I get the better. And what if I fail?? I also don't like to make people feel bad, if they aren't doing anything.(That sounds crazy I know) I have told a some people, mostly family, then a few people that I trust and know they will be there to support me know matter what. I guess I am just not a in your face kinda girl.
I did fall off the diet wagon this week though. I think it is because mother nature is on her way. Why is it that I feel like I could eat the ass end of a cow the week before she makes her great appearance?!? Oh well, when she does arrive I lose my appetite completely, so I guess it will even out.
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