Just as I suspected I got the "Thanks but no thanks" email today.....sigh. I have actually taken it better than I thought I would. I guess that is the one perk of being negative...always expect the worse so you won't be disappointed! :) I know that is part of what is wrong with me though. I wish I wasn't like this...and I use to not be.
I think the turning point for me was when Glen passed away. I don't think I ever truly recovered from losing him. But then how do you recover from someone saying I'll be right back and telling you they love you and never coming home. I probably shouldn't have gone to see him in the hospital after he was gone...that is the only way I can remember him now. Even after almost 8 years it is still hard to shake it all. It ruined me in a way....in a lot of ways actually. I haven't opened up to a man since. How can I???
Man I have issues....actually my issues have issues that have issues!
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Weepy Wednesday
Happy Wednesday Bloggy People!!!
Ok well I am not that happy, still haven't heard anything on the job that I want so badly. I have convinced myself that I didn't get it. Best to be surprised rather than disappointed?!?! Maybe that is my problem. I use to not be this bad...what the hell happened to me?
I also don't know how to get back into the dating game. I really suck at it. I am so closed off, I have been hurt, in one way or another and just can't seem to let the wall down. I honestly don't know that I will ever be able to. I should probably seek professional help...but my insurance SUCKS...so I can't afford it.
Well this is a pity party blog isn't it?! I guess I should have said Happy Weepy Wednesday! I just need something....anything good to happen to me to make me feel better about myself. This has been a pretty bad year all around...maybe 2015 will be good! I should end this blog now before I put all of you in a bad mood....
Ok well I am not that happy, still haven't heard anything on the job that I want so badly. I have convinced myself that I didn't get it. Best to be surprised rather than disappointed?!?! Maybe that is my problem. I use to not be this bad...what the hell happened to me?
I also don't know how to get back into the dating game. I really suck at it. I am so closed off, I have been hurt, in one way or another and just can't seem to let the wall down. I honestly don't know that I will ever be able to. I should probably seek professional help...but my insurance SUCKS...so I can't afford it.
Well this is a pity party blog isn't it?! I guess I should have said Happy Weepy Wednesday! I just need something....anything good to happen to me to make me feel better about myself. This has been a pretty bad year all around...maybe 2015 will be good! I should end this blog now before I put all of you in a bad mood....
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Fingers Crossed and Prayers Appreciated!!!
That is right folks...two in one day! Nothing quite like sitting home on a Saturday night and catching up on your DVR to bring out the writer in you! So I guess I should catch you up a little. Not sure where I left off though....I had to have surgery in Feb, pre cancerous crap, so I figured since he was going to be in there might as well tie the old tubes...that is right folks....NO MORE BABIES! One and done for this woman! Still haven't had the chance to test it out yet....yep that is correct no man for me...yet. I take complete responsibility for that....I was told this evening, by a man, that I am as affectionate as a cactus...or some shit like that. It is true and I admit it...that is the first step, right?!
So my job SUCKS! Maybe sucks is to harsh a word....if you are 39 yrs old and had almost 20 years of experience in accounting and got passed up for a promotion, with the excuse from your boss that they went with someone with a little more experience, for a 25 yr old Pharmacy Tech, who's daddy has been with the company forever, making your job suck then yes mine does:) Fucking politics....sigh! I have really let it go....I do my job and go home.
I interviewed for a job the other day that I really, really, really, really want!!!! My mind automatically jumps to the fact that I never get anything that I want this badly, then there is a little part of my brain that says why shouldn't I get it?! I should know by the end of this coming week....so fingers crossed and prayers appreciated!!!
I am going to Houston next weekend for the Motley Crue concert with my younger sister and another friend of mine. It should be interesting to say the least. My friend and I aren't as close as we use to be and there have been some....issues....that we never talked about. So this will either be a blast...or it will be a disaster. I'll let you know what side of the coin that lands on!
Well gotta close for now....that DVR isn't going to catch up on itself;)
So my job SUCKS! Maybe sucks is to harsh a word....if you are 39 yrs old and had almost 20 years of experience in accounting and got passed up for a promotion, with the excuse from your boss that they went with someone with a little more experience, for a 25 yr old Pharmacy Tech, who's daddy has been with the company forever, making your job suck then yes mine does:) Fucking politics....sigh! I have really let it go....I do my job and go home.
I interviewed for a job the other day that I really, really, really, really want!!!! My mind automatically jumps to the fact that I never get anything that I want this badly, then there is a little part of my brain that says why shouldn't I get it?! I should know by the end of this coming week....so fingers crossed and prayers appreciated!!!
I am going to Houston next weekend for the Motley Crue concert with my younger sister and another friend of mine. It should be interesting to say the least. My friend and I aren't as close as we use to be and there have been some....issues....that we never talked about. So this will either be a blast...or it will be a disaster. I'll let you know what side of the coin that lands on!
Well gotta close for now....that DVR isn't going to catch up on itself;)
Sorry Guys....
I know...I know...I have been MIA for a long time!!! SO much has happened....and none of it is good it seems. I am starting to think that someone out there hates me. So much to talk about and so little time it seems. I will be here more now...promise!!! Hugs and stuff!
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